Goodbye, Autumn

Catch those falling petals,

One by one,

It's time to go home,

It's time to let time die.

Copper and rust

Ought to coat your palms

Silver and ebony

Ought to dot your forehead.

Sniff the air, my lovely

All warm and wet and soft

It's time to say goodbye, lovely,

Time to whisper a golden farewell.

It's the shifting of grey skies

And the rushing of cold dust

A pattering and thundering

Of heavens venting o'er and o'er.

Draw your coat closer, lovely,

Draw into your cosy haven.

Draw into cider and apple pie

And a smoked turkey with applesauce.

But before you go, lovely,

Take away a scarlet token.

Keep a crimson reminder

Of everything gone to sleep.

So you'll have a little piece of colour

To keep through the whiteness

Of a deep, deep slumber

And a silence reflected in naked branches and empty bark.

And when once you wake, my lovely

To twittering wings and delicious flora,

You'll know for sure, lovely

That Spring's sweet song has at last begun.

The Rant

I feel like, I feel like

I've come to this age

Where I've got to share

I've got to know

What you think, why

You say what you say

When I say what I say

I feel like, I feel like

Like drinking every drop

Of dazzling pop and quiet cool culture

And telling the world and telling you

Everything, every thought, every term

Every vowel, every word, every- WHOA.

Now that my tongue's had enough

My head says, 'Hush'

And then I join in this lay game

Where we all shut up

Some for a second, others for a lifetime

And I don't speak and you don't speak

But we're still shouting so loudly

And we try to see who can figure out

What we're saying, and what a laugh!

Because we're sharing alright

We're just not sharing aloud

So it's always going to be before sunrise

Where we think it's healthy

To rebel against anything that can be fought

And we're going to talk and not talk

And yell and spew on every surface through every medium

And we're going to share and share and share

Before the great green god of greed

Swoops down on us all

And sucks away the passion

And sucks and sucks and sucks

Till he's drunk with it all.

So we have fat bundles of green

But the anger and zest and the electricity

Have been shelled, peas no longer in the pod

As old with lines as we become though

We'll learn to talk and share and smile and scream

But in careful compartments,  unlocked for the right one

The right one who remains the written one sometimes

Or the written off one

I digress.

See?

As we grow old with lines

The rant stops in favour

Of taciturn tact and

Telling everyone to get along

Instead of being the one told to shut the hell up.

It's gonna happen, and it will and there's no fighting

I'll become crows' feet and quiet thoughts

Worried responsibility and rare laughter

But till then, oh God, till then

I'm going to scream

Till

Till

Till I'm red in the goddamn face.

Incubus Returns

The dripping heart cries
Alone, alone, pushed away
The heart is blocked with pain.

Empty sweep of sand
Only Vulture's raw cry
I am insane with fear

Thick, scratchy darkness
Boiling, overflowing
Stabbing my ears and eyes.

Now Vulture calls loudly
But he is invisible
Hovering, waiting.

I shriek, I scream
A silent scream just for me
And just for him above.

I cannot see Vulture
His talons flex in wait
I can hear them though

Run! Run! Run!
But where to? Ahead?
Run! Fall! Run!

To flee is to stay
In infinity, in loops
To stay is to flee.

Now Vulture circles low
Salivating, beak open
Swoop! Swoop! Dive!

I am so scared
No comfort in movement
No comfort in the still.

And cold sweat!
Wake! Wake! Turn! Pant! Wake!
My fingers clutch sheets.

I tremble
A reality rescue
From the abyss, again.

Oh, God, will this ever stop?!

The Dreamcatcher Verse

If you and I were to weave our dreams,

What a pretty sight would that be!

In silky gossamer and swirling filigree,

Each moonlit panel a portal to infinite possibility.

Vast azure oceans of beauty,

Evening balls with seraph, dryad and fey,

A lover's kiss, a promise of a new day,

A darkened path lit up by a sudden, inspiring ray.

Ah! But hideous phantoms cry out, too.

A hunter's moan, the prey's low groan of pain.

Fear in every corner, boon entangled with bane,

Chased by Death's claws, trying to flee in vain.

If you and I were to weave our dreams,

Let the moonlight break the fragile shell of our nightmares,

Let the burnished glow of our hopes emerge,

And let us sweetly slumber, without fear of dark traps or snares.

Love Cacophony

She burned fully and freely

Giving all, taking all

She burned freely and fully

It was easy. She simply could.

She swayed and crackled

Unmindful of the gathering storm

She whipped, turned, burst, drew

The storm grew in spite of her.

He rained down, fully and freely

Drenching all, sparing none

He rained down, freely and fully

It was easy. He simply could.

He watched the flame

Who swayed and crackled

He watched the flame dance and whirl

He wanted the flame. He simply did.

They met with a lusty collision

That shook a god's throne and made him roar

Light zigged and the sky boomed

It was cacophony. Love cacophony.

The flame grew into an inferno

That couldn't be quenched

The flame grew with the storm

Which couldn't be vapour at all.

And the world groaned and the children cried

As they met and destroyed the crust,  mantle

And the world cried and the children groaned

They were so very close to the core.

But the flame flickered, softened.

And suddenly shrank

And shrivelled weakly, palely

And shrank and shrank and shrank.

He howled with pain

The horizon screamed with noise and light

He bellowed with grief

And the sky spilt, again and again and again.

But the flame shrank, the dance done

And the flame shrank and the flame sighed

It burned sweetly, today once more

And the flame shrank and the flame died.

They cowered beneath the shelter

The children, the mother, the family

They waited for hell and heaven and the gods and him

They waited to die.

Nothing burned and nothing soaked

She was gone and he went with her

He never rained, never again

He left, with her last sigh.

Now the world groaned and the children cried

They raged for a different reason.

They lived because of noise and light

And force and colour and her and him.

But now, cracks along wounded crust

Stinking carcass and rotten breath

Now, just vast brown and vast blank empty

Empty, empty, empty, empty...

Tubby Troubles

The clock ticks and I'm still not done

I press and pinch and prod and poke

The clock ticks and the mirror still reflects

I am late for school.

The mother shouts and I'm still not done

I pull and tuck and twist and push

The mother shouts and the shirt still clings

I am late for dinner.

Night falls and I'm still not done

I clench and unclench and breathe and hold

Night falls and the paunch still remains

I am late for bed.

I roll and punch and groan and cry

I fill my stomach and empty it with acid

I reject its demands and then stuff it with plastic

My tummy is red and stretched all over.

I cannot think anymore, I burn greenly

Tight bellies peer with baby buttons

Tiny bums are flatly smug in tiny shorts

Thigh bolsters laugh at my thigh sacks of rice.

And I cannot think anymore, I flicker sadly

When someone says hi, I look down

Only I can't see my toes and all I reply is

I'mfatI'mfatI'mfatI'mfatI'mfatI'mfatI'mfatI'mfat...

First Date

'Here,' he said, handing her the mug. She sniffed its contents and raised an eyebrow. 'Green tea? Really?' He scowled and shrugged. 'It was the only thing I could find. What the hell are you complaining for? You said you were thirsty.'

'For water,' she said, torn between exasperation and laughter at his rapidly reddening face in realizing his stupidity. He retaliated by growling and hunkering down, slurping at his drink moodily. She took a sip from hers before knocking her shoulder against his. 'Come on. I actually find it very sweet that you made an effort.' 'Shut up,' he muttered, making her chuckle. They lapsed into comfortable silence.

Crickets began singing softly in the background and the wind whistled in appreciation - they were singing in tune to the breeze's symphony for once. She closed her eyes and heaved a deep sigh. Peace. She liked this, could get used to this.

'What are you sighing for?' he asked, and her eyes flew open. She frowned. 'Don't be such a goddamn bumpkin. How many times do I have to tell you to relax?' 'Yeah, well, ain't nothing to be relaxed about,' he mumbled, tossing his empty mug aside and staring into the distance. She grinned. 'Is that how you treat your girlfriends as well? I bet you're a real bummer when it comes to foot massages.' 'I-h-hey! Shut up!' he spluttered, pointing a finger at her. 'You don't know anything about me!'

Her eyes softened. 'Then tell me. It's not like we have all the time in the world.' His momentary anger subsided and he suddenly looked helpless, shy and hesitant. He shifted his feet, gazing fixedly at the mud beneath his boots. The sky grew darker and fireflies began descending now.  She looked up at them. 'Christmas lights.'

He was startled. 'What?' She pointed up at the glowing dots as they swirled and twirled above their heads, an elaborate ballet of dancers who shone and glimmered with every jeté. 'Christmas lights. They used to look just like fireflies when I was a kid. Dad made them by himself and stuck them all over the house, so when you switched them on, it was like a thousand eyes glaring at you from every corner.' She laughed. 'What a creep.'

He looked down again. 'We went camping during Christmas,' he whispered. Her eyes widened. 'In the snow?' 'Yeah, well, Mum was always a bit cuckoo after Dad passed,' he snorted. 'She shopped all morning for the thickest sweaters and the heaviest boots, and then in the night, she'd make us trudge to the nearest field and lay on sleeping bags in the snow. ''Try to find Santa's outline against the moon, and you'll get an extra cup of cocoa.''' He shoved a stick into the sticky mud. 'I never got that extra cup, it was always my b-tch of a sister.'

He expected her to gasp, shush him for being abusive, or maybe put on an understanding face - mask and ask him gently about what caused him to swear. But she simply grabbed his stick and broke it into two before tossing it away. 'You hate her,' she stated, like it was a fact that the world had established. 'Of course I do,' he bit back, a little surprised at himself for confiding in her. 'She had everything in her life going good for her, and then she had to go and kill herself because some c-ksucker she loved got her best friend pregnant. My mother can't speak anymore.' His eyes began burning and he found himself hating her beside him, loathing her for bringing this side out. 'That's why I left. I couldn't stand the silence.'

Noisy gulping brought him back to earth, and he turned his head in wonder. She smiled at him. 'This tea's pretty good. Thanks.' 'What the hell?' he exclaimed, standing up. 'I'm telling my life story and all you have is ''Good tea''?! ' 'Yes,' she said simply, watching him, completely unperturbed. Suddenly, he felt weary. He flopped down next to her, and couldn't help but notice that they were...just a little closer than before.

'I can't stand sad stories,' she said after a pause. 'I really can't.' He sneered. 'Then you can't exist in this world.' She shook her head. 'Yes, I can. I can stop telling them, I can stop listening to them. I can shoot all those f-king storytellers in the head and get them to shut up. Then they wouldn't be around to just tell me those tales and not to do anything about them. I'd keep them alive long enough to find out where they'd gotten the story from and kill them and go out there and prevent the story from happening. That's what I'd do. ' She breathed out slowly after this outburst. 'I learn from my mistakes. After what Dad did to my big sister, I should have taken his gun and put a bullet in his head, instead of helping him continue another sad story with the neighbor's little girl. That's why I left,' she said, looking straight at him. He stared back, the fire in her eyes was a little hard to ignore. 'I never wanted to find how that story ended. '

'So..?' he began awkwardly, and she shook her head. 'Never,' she repeated dully. 'There was nothing I needed to know. The last thing I saw was my sister in bed one morning. She never woke up, I never looked back when I packed my stuff.'

Their mugs lay side by side now. The fireflies were gone.

He reached across to take her hand, but the sirens began blaring, and they quickly stood up, grabbing their weapons and shrugging their heavy jackets on. As they raced back to the barracks, he realized that he'd forgotten to ask. 'What's your name?' he yelled over the noise. She ran past him, throwing him a last grin over her shoulder. The sound of firing Kalashnikovs grew louder in the distance. 'Does it matter?' she shouted back. 'We'll be dead anyway!'