Who are you, and what have you done to my parents?

Gone are the years when your dad and mum were the loving, jovial parents you knew them to be. When they willingly allowed you to do what you wanted without a word of dissent, laughed and immediately forgave and forgot when you screwed up and took you out for chocolate ice-cream by means of consolation.

Now they seem to channel the spirit of the Fuhrer himself, yelling at you for no good reason, questioning you as though you're some kind of runaway prisoner when you go out, and restricting you from anything and everything.

Yeah, you're probably right: your parents have been replaced by evil alien clones of themselves. And millions of kids are probably going through the same thing right now. In fact, there might as well be a full-scale invasion of the normal people (that's us) on Earth by the Dark Forces (the parents, or rather, their villainous replacements).

The good news is, you still have a chance of getting your real parents back. You see, putting aside all the alien replacement jokes, the real reason your parents act like the twins of Voldemort is because of a very simple thing- you're a teen. And your parents realise that this is the time you start acting out, and because they expect you to do so, they begin all the scolding and restricting early. For example, an innocent outing with a guy friend will have your dad assume the position of a stern headmaster, and a return home just a minute after your curfew will have your mum cut off all your TV privileges for a month.

Despite all this, you know your parents love you, and do all this because they have your best interests at heart. So, in order to restore peace to the household, you must use the healing and diplomatic power of compromise. Start by explaining how you feel to them, because, (hard to believe, yeah?), they have gone through the same thing. Be patient and emphasise your point clearly, there's no reason to get all worked up over nothing. For example, if you want to come home late from an outing, list all the valid reasons for doing so, wth a promise to be safe, not wander and to always have your phone with you. After all, parents are suckers for the whole maturity act. 

Rein in your protests when they say no and listen to their side of the argument. Your parents may turn out be right in the end. You don't want to be on the other side of the "I told you so!" lecture, do you?

So keep calm and fight your way out with a straight face. Get your normal parents back while you still can! :-)

Travel to Tirupathi

Travel to Tirupathi

An unpleasant surprise sprung up at me, late in the evening of the 5th of this month, when my mum told me that we were leaving for a day's trip to visit Sri Venkatachalapathy's temple in Tirupathi. The surprise was particularly unpleasant for me, because the last time we went there (I was about eleven years old) we’d had a bad experience. In fact, whenever the word 'Tirupathi' was said in the vicinity, I had blurred visions of shaved heads screaming and pushing us in their eagerness to get close to the Lord.

Nothing, however, could be said in protest when my parents made their minds up to go. The following morning saw us getting up at the crack of dawn, sleepily and reluctantly bathing and conducting various morning duties, then travelling by car to our destination, which was located on the border of Andhra Pradesh.

Upon reaching, we had a tasty breakfast, courtesy of the Bhimasena restaurant and decided to continue our drive uphill. However, my mum, who seemed to have a penchant for giving me nasty shocks that day, wanted to travel by foot up the Tirupathi pedestrian path, which she had never tried before. This suggestion, nay, command, was unanimously seconded by my traitor of a brother, my dad and my dad's friend, while I silently seethed in the background.

Ironically, I turned out to be the one who enjoyed the climb the most. The Tirupathi pedestrian path consists of around 3500 steps, through the hill. It is widely believed that if one mounts these stairs with the Lord’s name on their lips, all their wishes are fulfilled by Him. The weather was favorable for us as we walked up the stairs- not too hot, and not too chilly. Thousands of devotees were our companions, ranging from men in sweat-soaked cotton shirts, dhotis and the occasional pair of jeans to women in pastel colored saris, carrying baskets and children. Many people brought turmeric powder soaked in water and kumkum, which they dabbed on the front of every stair they climbed. Stalls hawking refreshments like cool drinks, chips, bhelpuri, coffee, etc. lined the border of the path, often the only things separating us and the mounds of grass and rock on the other side.

The journey was long, but mercifully not too tiring. Our driver was waiting for us at the top and took us to a restaurant where we had some questionable food for lunch. Then, as it was getting late, we hurried to the area outside the temple where hundreds and hundreds of people had already lined up.

The queues to the shrine of the Tirupathi are the worst places to wait in. The people are so excited to be so close to prostrating before Sri Venkatachalapathy that they jostle, push, prod, poke and do anything that is humanly possible to make others in the queue feel as uncomfortable and at times, as scared as can be.

That is precisely what happened to us. I, in particular, had to endure three whole hours of short women nudging me painfully in the back, men giving hoarse yells of “Govinda, Goooooovindaa!” (At one point, my dad joined in as well) and an annoying kid who made it his business to wail and sob every five seconds.

Thankfully, three hours went by pretty quickly, and after much shoving and pushing, we found ourselves in front of the Lord’s shrine. I have visited Tirupathi only once before, and have no memory of ever glimpsing the idol of Sri Venkatachalapathy, so this was my very first sight of him. And what a sight.

He was smooth obsidian black, dressed in new silk robes and ornaments that shone and glittered beautifully in the soft light of the lamps, a mysterious figure at the far of the shrine. For a moment there, he looked almost...alive. Caught in the moment, I quickly bowed my head, and said my prayers, resolving firmly that I would be a better person to make Him proud of me, before being swept away by the priests.

We did our pradarshan around the temple (which is said to be more than thousands of years old. Although a few modern mechanisms have been added, the basic foundation consists of smooth cool stone and weathered figures carved on the walls), collected our prasadam, the famous Tirupathy ladoos, and began our journey downhill towards Chennai. As we clambered into our car, I thought about my day at Tirupathy. Sure, I’d had a long day and tiring day. After an arduous climb of around 3500 stairs, having food that would probably not pass the test for consumer approval and being tossed around in a crowd of extremely agitated devotees like heedless insects, I was understandably exhausted and more than willing to return home. But, as my grandmother said, it was all for Him above, who protected and watched over us lovingly. And after what I’d seen in the shrine, I sure agreed with her.

Imagine scores of these bobbling up and down, a sea of turmeric-painted eggs.
It can scar you for life.