It's different.

Thursday 12 December 2013

Eighteen


Eighteen
It's when you're 'grown up'
Leaving behind sparkly dresses
And leg warmers and coloured streaks
And dark lipstick and lip gloss
For one blank faceless face.

Eighteen
It's when Pepsi stops fizzing
And solidifies into coffee
And the sweetness darkens to tart alcohol
And you drink and drink and drink
To forget what never existed.

Eighteen
It's when what you like disintegrates
To form a smokescreen
Of what you must like
Of Freudian phrases and sullen quotes
That hint at intriguing intellect.

Eighteen
It's when laughter is frowned upon
And stifled to form a dry chuckle
Dry as a throat in the morning
From an angry night of tête-à-tête, Marlboro and Gauloise.

I am not myself
Not this surly avatar with dark shades
Haunting quaint cafes with tiny books
Filled with existentialism
And thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking.

I'm eighteen
I am supposed to want to conquer
And change, with big words
Along with a spoonful of reality
To dose everyone with mouthfuls of bitter  better.

But I'd consider it my biggest achievement
If I were to die at eighteen
To convince myself, right here, right now
To believe in Disney, Blyton, Rowling and the heroes
To hold fast to friendship, wit and bravery.

For later, and forever more
I know I will look back
And sigh, and wish
That if I could go back, I'd tell my eighteen-year old self

To just be that. Eighteen. A teen.



Thursday 19 September 2013

Cendrillon's End

She raced through the dirty cobbled streets, slipping in the muck and rotten fruit that lined the cracks in the stone. The marketplace was bustling with wailing children, scolding mothers whose bosoms heaved with every breath, and the occasional rag-picker who groped the aforementioned busts. They all grunted and grumbled in annoyance as she shoved them aside with her strong arms, arms that were toned from lifting heavy pails of water for scrubbing the floors.

Her breath hitched as she approached the town square, and she stopped confusedly for a moment. If one were to gaze at the square from an aerial view, they would see the very ground moving in a roiling sea of discoloured browns and blues. Wooden carts trundled past waddling women with baskets filled with vegetables, nearly killing the scampering toddlers in frocks as they played with each other in the mud. Men shouted names and curses as they heaved bags of goods back and forth, and the occasional yelp of pain was heard above the din, as an inept apprentice was promptly punished.. Comely maidens, with skin as creamy as the milk they sold, giggled shyly as young gentry ogled them eagerly, forgetting the dignity of their noble background. The chaos was punctuated with the sharp barks , clucks and quacks of sundry animals in the square and on the butcher's aisle.

No!  her mind screamed at her, as she wavered on the verge of turning back. This is your last chance; he has already left with her! You have time, do it! Her face hardened, and with her chin set in tenacious determination, she raised her elbows and propelled herself through the crowd. Gasps and groans soon echoed. In no time at all, she had defeated the thick wall of people, and raced away, as filthy insults were thrown at her retreating back.

She stopped suddenly at the edge of the woods. This is it. Lips trembling in anticipation, she now walked forward more cautiously, the glass slipper clutched tightly in her hand. It had miraculously survived the onslaught of milling human crowds. She felt its smooth, pearly surface slide against her sweaty palm, and the feeling of impeding excitement grew, fluttering wildly in her stomach like a caged bird waiting to be freed.

She had already thought of how the meeting would go. Of how he would drop the other's hand in surprise, as the beautiful stranger approached him, teal eyes glowing with her love for him. Of how he would stare at the glittering slipper and let his jaw drop. Of how tenderly her ankle would be held by him, as he gently pushed her dainty foot inside, fingers lingering over the shapely heel. The slipper would fit like a glove, as though she'd been wearing it since her birth. Her lips parted as she imagined him gathering her in his arms, kissing her deeply and then whisking her away to heaven, while the other screamed in dismay.

Something glinted in the bright sunlight filtering through the trees, and she squinted, unable to see for the moment. Then, spotting a rose-gold shell in the distance, she let out a whoop and ran towards it. Her heart beat crazily; Grandmama was right, she would win this time, she would be able to escape, the rightful owner would now be where she belonged...

She paused suddenly, and blinked in confusion. Was she in the right place? Was this a dream she was experiencing- although how can it be, I'm sweating! My feet are burning!  Her grip on the shoe grew tighter and tighter, as she watched the following scene unfold before her.

He stood before the other, holding her close by her shoulders. His dark head was bent near her ear, and the other's face blushed in shades of carmine and pink. The courtiers and ladies-in-waiting bustled about, gathering rolls of gold cloth in their arms, beckoning to servants to pick various articles from the ground. An huge bower, intertwined with bell heather and primroses, was slowly being dismantled.

The spectator quickly shook herself out of her trance, and took another step forward. That was when she saw what the other was wearing. A long, cream-coloured skirt swirled around her ankles, while her magnificent cleavage was adequately displayed with the help of a tight-fitting white bodice. The ringlets of mustard, diligently brushed by tired maids with cold fingers, flashed beneath the frothy veil that hid glittering, greedy eyes; eyes that beheld the Prince in unabashed glee. The entire picture was completed by a man in a black robe and a crucifix at his neck, closing the leather-bound book in his hand with a soft snap.

She watched with growing horror, as the Prince kissed the other's mouth and whispered, 'My lovely forest-bride,' before taking her hand and helping her into the carriage. Before the bride slipped into the waiting vehicle, her skirt was slightly lifted and her ankle displayed, and the spectator glimpsed a trickle of  red, red liquid seep into the white cloth, before it was hastily whisked out of sight. She looked up to witness gleaming spiteful eyes retreat slowly into the shadowy recesses of the carriage, but not before the wide, red mouth smirked at her.

The Prince straightened up, and glanced around imperiously, before his gaze came to rest on the sweating, trembling intruder. His eyes widened, and he began walking towards her, raising an arm. She began to shake -  it was a dream - there he was , a mere foot away, ready to acknowledge that she was really the one who had captured his heart during the ball...

The sting of a slap brought her staggering to reality. The Prince was looking down at her, his eyes blazing in anger. He pinched her arm and she howled in pain. 'Dirty cow!' he roared, pushing her down to the ground. 'How dare you interrupt a royal wedding ceremony? Be gone, wretch, or face my wrath!' With that, he whirled  around, quickly got into the carriage and rode away, the vehicle biding her a sadistic farewell as it shone pinkly in the fading sunlight.

She was deaf, dumb and blind. She was a hollow shell, legs splayed beneath her torn dress. The world turned into a cold tomb of silent greys. Her eyes were opaque with disbelief and unimaginable sorrow, as she simply sat there, without regard to who or where she was. She clenched her hands tightly, and a sharp pain in her right hand brought the world back in a rush of shapes and colours.

The entire wedding party was gone. She looked down to see crimson ooze down her wrist; the glass slipper had cracked in her hand.

She closed her eyes and gripped the slipper harder and harder, welcoming the waves of pain as they roared and broke over her. She could go back, but she wouldn't. It simply was not possible. Going back would entail scrubbing, washing and brushing. It would mean running after her step-mother and sister, attending once more to all their needs, and bearing the pricks of their insults again. It would mean crying over her father's portrait every morning, and hating her Grandmama for what she'd promised and what she'd failed to provide. But most of all...it would mean going back to the avatar of the poor, orphaned servant girl.

She slowly opened her eyes and smiled. No, she was a princess. A certain quiet dignity descended upon her slender form as she stood up. Her back straightened with regal pride, and she raised her head, as though addressing her people. I am a princess. I am the Queen. And nothing will ever change me. She smiled again, as she raised the stiletto heel of the glass slipper. I will ensure that.

*
The wood-cutter staggered through the bushes, screaming in fear. He tumbled onto the road and ran for his life. Reaching the inn, he yanked open the door.

The crowd inside immediately froze, watching the man heave and retch, trying to catch his breath. Finally, the bartender, abandoning his dirty washing cloth, strode forward and pulled the wood-cutter to his feet. 'What the hell's the matter with you, man? You look like you've seen a ghost!'

The man stared back at him with crazed eyes. 'It may as well be, John! She was just lying there, a damned flower wreath 'round her pretty hair, 'n all the animals sniffin' about her 'n all. Her hair was soaked, man, soaked with the blood from the wrists crossed beneath her head! That wasn't even the worst bit! Her lips - God almighty! I can still see it, clear as day! - were smiling, like she was enjoying it, although I dunno how she bloody well could, with that great damned shard of glass, all the way through her heart!'

Sunday 9 June 2013

There And Back Again (yeah, I took that from the Hobbit. Sorry, Bilbo.)


I grinned at myself in the mirror and added a final line of kohl under my right eye. Then, snapping the lid shut, I proceeded to put the tube away and rearrange my hair - which I had done ten times hitherto. My mum, watching amusedly from the doorway, finally voiced the question she'd been itching to ask the whole day. 'Are you sure you want to do this? You know it's been a long time.'

I turned to her and let out a small sigh. 'Mum,' I said. 'This might be the last time that we'd get to meet like this. I...I need to see them.' One beat of understanding later, she nodded and returned to the kitchen, to put the finishing touches on her famous au gratin, which she'd prepared specially for this occasion.

Hell, she didn't realize the depths of nervousness my stomach sank into the moment she left. I was meeting up with my old friends, friends who had stuck with me right from first grade, and who had experienced each stage of growth with me up till that point. And yet, this strong friendship had somehow dissolved almost to nothingness, when we made new friends in high school and allowed bitterness and jealousy to ensue between us.

Now, four years later, we were meeting up, with old-but-new faces, new haircuts, clothes and attitudes. Would we still be able to talk as easily as we did so long ago, or would the dinner be four awkward hours of stilted small talk and frozen conversation?
I had no time to dwell on this, as the doorbell rang, and they stepped in, one by one, scrutinizing the place which, for a long time, had been our main hangout.  And thankfully, not much had changed. Slowly, they ambled to the couches and sat down, avoiding each others 'eyes. My worst fears were coming true. I gulped and began doling out the juice and hors d' oeuvres. 'Thank you,' one of the guys said softly, before delicately biting into the pastry.

My mind was spinning. Thank you?  In the past, this particular fellow would have simply swatted my hand away from the plate, grabbed a couple of pieces for himself, and scarfed down the lot. It would have been so rude...so boorish...and so comfortable.
My temper of old rose, and prompted me to raise my hand and smack the back of his head. 'Idiot!' I snapped. 'Stop being so polite!' He was so startled that he simply stared at me, eyes bugging out and mouth opening and shutting like that of a goldfish. However, my slap had done the trick; the proverbial ice was cracked, and everyone burst out laughing at his face.

After that, it was easy to melt into the banter of old. We joked about our new appearances, reminisced about our childhood friends and classmates, and the guy I mentioned earlier began gulping down the starters ten at a time - just to spite me for the smack he'd earned. I loved it.

When my mum brought out the au gratin, my friends roared with joy, for this was  one dish that had virtually become the bane of our existence for two days, during the French exhibition - one of our fondest memories of the 8th grade.

Needless to say, conversation flowed like an open bottle of wine during dinner. We talked about everything under the sun - books( yes, the paperback kind), movies, games, fan fiction, crushes(even the guys) and life after school. We even sorted out the problems between us, although it took barely five minutes, with an explanation and apology from the guilty party, and a shrug and a 'Chill, man, it's all cool now,' from the other side. I looked up, and caught my mum smiling at us from the doorway, proud and happy. I grinned at her and gave her a thumbs-up.

In the end, when it was time to go, one of the girls turned to me and opened her mouth hesitantly. Everyone else stopped whatever they were doing and looked at us. She let out a sigh and gave me a brilliant smile. 'Thanks, Aditi,' she said softly. 'Thanks for calling us...I'm so glad we could meet up like this.' I stepped forward and hugged her. The next moment, I was engulfed in a group hug, as arms came around everywhere. It was a perfect, shining moment.

After the hug, I stood at the door and waved goodbye to everyone as they left, one by one, disappearing behind the gleaming doors of the elevator, their happy grins the last I'd see of them for a while. However, I wasn't upset - not at all. We had parted as old friends should, not with tears and flowery promises to reunite, but with fresh, happy memories of our past, memories that made us grin and realize that our years together had made us who we were, and it felt wonderful to visit that place for a while. We realized that we'd all gained a return-gift of sorts from the dinner I'd hosted - golden remembrances, the strength of renewed friendship, which would be actively pursued on Facebook, and hope, hope that come what may, if we did meet up again, we'd be able to hold on to our camaraderie. It was enough for us at the moment, quite enough.



Monday 13 May 2013

5 Signs of Monster Mom Syndrome



Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, and senior citizens in motor-powered wheelchairs, welcome! Today’s lecture will be provided by the eminent teen psychologist, Dr. Aditi Kumar, M.A.D, C.R.A.C.K, K.O.O.K. In honor of Mother’s Day, we shall be tackling a whole new topic, requested by our beloved patrons – the Monster Mother Syndrome!
So what exactly is the definition of a monster mother?

monster mother
noun
A terrifying creature, characterized by its bloodshot eyes, loud shrill voice and the likely presence of mint-green face-mask. Usually found lurking around in houses to jump at children, can be identified by the onset of a dark shadow with long fangs and a large turban made of terrycloth towel in the morning.

The monster mother, much like its other terrifying counterparts, such as the Loch Ness monster and the Yeti, is a thing of legend, fascination and infinite speculation. However, this mythical being, cousin to the infamous banshee, has spawned a new problem for hapless children and overworked psychologists around the world alike – the Monster Mother Syndrome (MMS).
Be warned, people. The MMS is not something to be toyed with. Symptoms are slow in developing, but are easily recognizable. However, quick measures must be taken to prevent the MMS from fully settling in; otherwise, dear friends, you’ll soon be left with an actual, monster mother.

TOP FIVE WAYS OF RECOGNIZING THE MMS:


5. The word-swallowing growl
  Mostly likely to occur: At any time of the day, although it is most frequent in the mornings.
 Caused by: Unpacked bags before school, unmade lunchboxes, untied shoelaces, unwashed faces and an unfilled cup of coffee.
How to counter/avoid it: A hug, a kiss and a ‘See ya, Mum! Won’t happen next time!’ before you get the hell outta there!

4. The heavy footsteps
Most likely to occur: At anytime of the day, mostly during moments of after-school euphoria and sibling fights.
Caused by: At the sound of breaking glass. Actually, at the sound of anything breaking.
How to counter/avoid it: If you have about 10 minutes, clear the mess and pray that your mum doesn’t notice anything (although this is highly unlikely). If you have about 5 minutes, jump behind the curtains and hide your feet. If you have a minute, try finding different ways to say hello to your Maker.

3. The shrill ‘WHAT’S GOING ON UP THERE?’
Most likely to occur: In the evenings, late afternoons, summer break and other holidays.
Caused by: Vocal cords itching to yell at something after sounds of continuous screaming, scratching, punching and ‘Screw you! No, screw you!’
How to counter/avoid it: By meeting your mum’s angry questions with sweet smiles and saccharine compliments to your siblings, accompanied by bear hugs for each other (N.B. Underhand pinching is permitted). It helps if you’re cute, too.

2. The ceiling-shaking ‘ARRRGH!’
Most likely to occur: At mealtimes.
Caused by: Spilled food, stained clothes, food fights and a negative reaction to vegetables.
How to counter/avoid it: Cease all destruction; just put your head down and eat, people. Earmuffs are recommended to prevent deafness during the inevitable meltdown.

And last, the worst of them all…

      1. The LOOK
   Most likely to occur: At the end of the year.
   Caused by: An exceptionally scarlet report card, accompanied by three of the worst words in the English language – CAN DO BETTER.
How to counter/avoid it: All measures have failed in this aspect. Be sure to prepare a will for this one.


           
              GAH! YOU STUPID KID!


Just a fun lil’ piece to show my Mum how much I love her! Haha, wishing all mothers in the world a very Happy Mothers’ Day!


                            

                 Love ya, Mum.